23 Days of Peace

Gwama joined the lord last July 23, 2005 at the age of 93...we miss her presence but I know I am happy for her. It's also the reason why it took me a couple of weeks before writing a blog again..because I know i'll have to talk about it...I just can't deny and write about something else or skip it..to me, it's a significant detail of my life...So anyway, why am I happy for her? First because finally she is reunited with my gwakong who went ahead 20 years ago. Isn't that too much waiting already? But my grandmother was a fighter and strong woman. Her will to live was for her children whom she wants to see well and take care of. Second, she has definetely lived her life to the fullest...93...woaw..with four GREAT grandchildren!...what a way to keep legacy and tradition!My grandmother was a woman full of energy, you'd always see her doing something, exercising or walking around...i believe she still cleaned the toilet even when she was in her 70's or 80's!She just has to do something! If there's one asset that she has, it's her sharpness of mind and memory! I wish I was even just half as intelligent as her... even to acquire just her good memory (which I definetely have lost at this very young age). and her clarity of mind was defintely the last thing to be take away from her after her vitals all started to weaken one after the other...She was brain dead after a cardiac arrest which took place 2 days before she left..So I believe the cause of her death was not any particular sickness but simply of old age...though it all started when she had her stroke last January.I was the one with her at the hospital when she had her cardiac arrest at 2 am....no pulse...the closest experience to holding a dead body right in your arms...she turned black and cold...my entire body was really shaking while contacting my parents, uncle and aunts...It was a news that I wish I did not have to make...knowing that It could have been her last...but again, miraculously, she got revived after almost 45 minutes of pumping her chest. But eventually left after 2 days...she has fought to the last drop of energy left of her...which for me was the POWER OF LOVE..I will not get into details anymore...the important thing is, she is happy :)We know from the dreams that we've had of her :)It was just really sad the first time we went to her room again after she left...just sad that she's not there...you feel the loss of her presence...though I know now that she's happier watching everybody else from above :) One distinct trait that everyone truly remembers about her is her generosity...she shared her wealth like there's no tom...She took care of so many people and families...and that is how she will continue to live on...:) Her wake was like a grand reunion...and that is how she is...she really enjoyed having so many people around...she was happiest celebrating her yearly birthday seeing all her loved ones grace the occassion:)It was more of her joy to see other people happy and enjoying...Her death has brought the entire family together...For almost perhaps 2-3 years now, our tradition of meeting every Sunday at my grandmother's house has somehow been cut due to circumstances..and that has been revived with the decision of all her children to have a reunion at least once a month...plus they will definetely have to meet each other every Sunday for two years after her death...Her remains lye at the chinese cementary...Whenever I see the pictures of my grandparents right next to each other, I was happy for them. It was good to see a complete pair of picture..unlike when my grandfather's picture was all alone :)We are convinced that it was her time..amazing how she has arranged everyting before she left...everything was in proper timing (I will not finish if I talk about all the details :) ) I love you gwama!